Business Statistics – time to say goodbye!

Posted on September 2, 2011

1


Posted by Joanna Oman

As a follow up to my previous article “Who said business statistics was fun” I want to talk about relationships of the statistical kind. When life puts us under pressure we evaluate our relationships and whether we can proceed with or without them. Life did put me under pressure: in two, well more like one, days time my relationship with statistics will come under the ultimate scrutiny. It’s the big day: EXAM.

We have gone through many stages, statistics and I…  It all started off a few months back with wild hate of the most passionate kind. It tried to get to me, get under my skin, tried to push me against the wall, it made me crazy with explosive emotions, there was a lot of screaming, crying, huffing puffing, and physical activity (mainly convulsions and teeth grinding when I tried to understand it).. a typical start to any relationship.

I tried to resist, I fought it off very hard, but I knew I had to give in one day, that I had no choice but to let statistics take over me. I started to resign myself and endured a regular soirée, just the two of us, a few evenings per week.

I wimped more than cried, as the evenings gone on. When I knew it was going to happen that evening I would quietly accept what was coming. When statistics and I took over the sofa and table in the living room, the air just kind of stood still, as we went on from one exercise to another, me occasionally throwing my books, calculator, pens off the table, in one last attempt at rebellion, one last show of (dying) strength to resist, I started to… well …become more tamed.

As the evenings went on, statistics became nicer to me too. Not the usual aggressive techniques of trying to break into my brain without any cooperation from my side, with crazy functions, formulas, fuctorials (!). Instead it took on a milder, slower approach, letting me open up my mind to it gently, slowly, just a little bit so.

After months of denial, today I accepted that we are like an old married couple, who grew to live under the same roof. I understand why I have to endure the small and big quirks of statistics, and it begun to understand how to present itself to me, so I do not turn into a demon when it comes near me. We hate each other still but, calmly, accept each other’s ways…

It doesn’t know it, but this Sunday will be the last time we meet. I decided. It’s over. We had our downs and less downs, and now it’s time to say goodbye with one last, heart stopping, blood freezing public rendezvous  in the exam room.  I hope we will finish on a good note. Not easy in relationships as you know, but I hope this time it will be forever. I hope I won’t break down, I hope I will be strong, focused, cold-blooded and decisively cut the relationship once and for all  – in under 2 hours, as I’m on schedule. I want to cut off all contact, burn all our relationship memorabilia (notebooks, functions sheets, coursebook), wipe the slate clean.

I already invited my girl friends to help me get over it, help me celebrate my new found freedom with lovely food and baileys – girls best friends. I never want to think about statistics again – ever!

Wish me luck!

Posted in: Opinion